Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
