which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
