...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
