Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
