i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
