I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
