Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
