So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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