At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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