yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
