the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
