You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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