i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
false alarm. still invincible.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
