God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
