doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
