id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
please come you make the beer taste better
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
