So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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