Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
