butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
