Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
