Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
