he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
