i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
please come you make the beer taste better
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
