I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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