1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
