YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
