Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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