You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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