Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
