god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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