Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
