Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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