That's intense
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
