I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I don't think brook has ever known best
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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