i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
