I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
organizing the empties. That sober.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
