Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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