I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I know her cup size but not her name....
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
