You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
