It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
