My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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