tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
