I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
