Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm at about main and main street
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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