i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
