Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
