Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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