According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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