Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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