what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
